October 3, 2011 Privilege

Introductions and stories were first, then around the room we went to tell why?  Why did I want to be a Hospice Volunteer?  My answer was vague......"It's a calling."  I received a few strange looks, or so it seemed.  I went on to say that my entire life has been a path to here. I always find my self in situations of grief.  I am a health care worker with a very compassionate soul.  I am comfortable there.  The messier and more emotional the better.  I have often felt strange about the feelings that emerge in me when I am in these situations.  I would not call myself a religious person, but very spiritual.  When a person dies I feel the need to make the room sacred and to honor the person who has died, if only in my own mind and heart.  The hospital is very sterile and sometimes not conducive to a spiritual moment.  But, I have found my perfect hospital to work, the place where my gift is accepted and supported by many warm and endearing co-workers.  I feel an unsurmountable amount of privilege to be a part of something so sacred, to be a presence in someone's last journey.  I know that volunteering at Hospice will allow me to learn and to practice my craft.  I want to be there to help with unsettled emotions.  I want to support the dying and also support the living with the dying.  I feel like dying has become so taboo in our culture now, I want to bring it back to a normal part of living.  Grief is a job so differently carried out for each and every person.  I am not just talking about grief with death, but the grief that we carry around with us our entire lives.  That grief that we give little attention to, but it really rules our life.  I can sense that pain in a lot of people, I can sense them needing to find a way out.  I want to guide you on a way back in.  Into your heart where your emotion lives.   We were all given tools for grief at birth, it has just been up to us to find them.  Our culture has made it easy for us to hide.  "Be positive, don't cry, be strong."  All of these statements help us hide.  


During the first class it became so unbelievably clear to me what I am here for.


Enough ranting....tonight is night 2, Physical Caring.