Hey Terri:
My plan was to not do it at all, never let him leave, but that was selfish, just because I didn’t want my husband to physically leave me. On Monday he said: “I’m not going to die today." This gave me & the family time to prepare for what we always knew was coming but still was a surprise. Dave always did things on his time – it was all about Dave.
Before we come to this Earth we are Spirits, and in the sky world the Creator gives us instructions in language so we can identify ourselves, our Spirit. We are free looking for our parents, for it is us that choose our parents, our lovers, our life’s path how we live and how we die. An agreement made with Creator.
On that morning I chose to help him on his journey surrounding him with the people that had become his family, members of the staff that for the last 5 years helped both of us survive and live as best a quality of life that we could. For at that point his agreement with Creator had reached its end and it was time to return to the Spirit World where he now lives again with his parents; and among all our relations. At his head I placed his 3 Eagle feathers from his head dress worn for ceremony used by the Haudenosaunee identifying him to his relations as a Mohawk . (the other 5 members of the Confederacy have a different # of feathers). I placed corn pollen on his eyes, his throat and heart so he can speak, see and feel clearly. The blue corn placed all around his body is used to help on his journey and keep him fed and nourished as he makes that trip. We burned tobacco that was placed in a bowl after being held by the family in the room, asking them to pray for his journey that it be peaceful and his reception will be grand and that his physical pain is relieved and he will be rewarded for his path here in the physical. The smoke from the tobacco burning will carry the messages and prayers of the people to Creator. It was also mixed in the bowl with other sacred herbs. This tobacco was from his bag that he used for his prayers grown locally on his reserve. Dave used to sing traditional social songs with a travelling troupe of friends from his home reserve of Ahkwasasne Mohawks, these songs are played using a water drum and rattle. I played some his favorites, mostly Stomp Dances. Dave’s Mohawk name that he chose was Skanewati, “means two sides of the hide”. How you see things. ( I guess he chose that because he didn’t have two sides of his heart…. Hmmm.. ) Anyway, he was wrapped in the quilt that his mother had made especially for him, as she had made quilts for all her children. These to keep him warm and with his moccasins to show respect to where he walks. Here on mother earth our moccasins are decorated because as we walk upon her it is the first thing of us she sees and we want her to know that we respect her showing her the beauty of us.
I think I did okay and helped him make that transition back with support and comfort and understanding that even though I miss him so much that it was all about him that day, his journey his ability to again live happy and whole with Creator.
To all our relations, aho.
I asked Lizz to write this beautiful story of Dave's passing so that I will forever remember the sacred way in which she honored him. I felt incredibly gifted to be a part of this ceremony, it was powerful at the least, the drums beating loudly in the back ground signified to me his beating heart, and when the music stopped Dave had gone.
In what way do we honor our loved ones? What is it that you will do for them in their final wishes?
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