Grief Visited

Grief – Visited

Today I am finally able to sit with my Grandpa. We are awaiting a transport ambulance to take him to a group home closer to our homes. He is finally comfortable and the heaviness in my heart has been eased by his calmness. They have his bed lowered to the ground and I sit with my head on his chest knowing that these are the last minutes I have to hear his heartbeat and to tell him how much I love him, and to thank him for all he is. In my mind I am constructing a quilt of gratitude to wrap him in for his travels. Thank you my wonderful, kind Poppy for loving me unconditionally all these years. Thank you for teaching me the power of touch. (It was you who taught me about the back rub, and savings at the same time. One quarter per back rub) .Thank you for making sure that I never touched a cigarette, thank you for being the example of what a great dad and husband is. Thank you for teaching me about Integrity, do the right thing even when nobody is looking . (I think it keeps your soul clean). Thank you for teaching me how to drive and for helping me purchase my first car. Thank you for giving me advice on boys. (Always pick a boy that doesn’t drive crazy, he’ll drive you less crazy too. Always pick a boy who loves his mom unconditionally, he’ll love you unconditionally too). I am so glad that no matter how crazy my teen years got I always was able to hear his voice. I did pick that boy. He was very proud of that and told me over and over the past few years as his memory was going how proud he was of my marriage. I have heard the stories from my other family member on how he has told them similar stories. No matter what was going on in the past few years my Grandpa said over and over again how proud he was of his family.

My need here is to make sure that one of us or all of us are with him in his last moments, sitting vigil by his bed side to usher him to the gates of heaven, into the arms of my Granny. To hold his hand, cradle his heart and drape him tightly in love. After all, he has been there for us during every important event in our lives.

Oh and a very important side note: My Poppy is being honored today at 7:30pm by a Colonel from the Army. He served in World War II, the battle of Normandy and he didn’t receive his Bronze Metal of Honor for Heroism, so tonight he gets that. He is a Hero in the eyes of his family, he always has been, and that is for sure.